


She looks up to you

by Ahsokasupremacy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, BAMF Ahsoka Tano, Gen, Hurt Ahsoka Tano, Hurt/Comfort, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Protective Anakin Skywalker, snips and skyguy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29947974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahsokasupremacy/pseuds/Ahsokasupremacy
Summary: In battle, Ahsoka saves her clone brothers at her own expanse. Anakin is worried sick and, with Obi-Wan's help,  reflects on her sef-sacrificing act.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67





	She looks up to you

They had been fighting the Seppies for a while now. Mostly just regular battle droids, some droidekas as well as a few tanks. Nothing they couldn't handle in Ahsoka's opinion, but their numbers were huge and she knew it would take some time to overcome them.

She and Anakin had separated to cover more ground and he'd left her with half their forces. Rex had gone with her. Officially because he knew the terrain better, but Ahsoka wasn't stupid. She knew he was there to protect her on Anakin's orders. And while she appreciated that her Master cared about her, she sometimes wished he would trust her abilities more.

Everything had been going well. They had gained the upper hand pretty quickly and Ahsoka was pretty confident there wouldn't be too many losses this time. But then, the mist had set in, thick and heavy, leaving them struggling to discern anything.

The droids wouldn't be bothered by it, she knew. She supposed it had its advantages, having an army entirely made of droids, but she wouldn't trade the clones - her friends - for anything in the galaxy.

As she kept deflecting blaster bolts with her sabers, protecting her brothers as best as she could, she scanned her surroundings for movements, but to no avail. All that appeared trough the mist was a seemingly never ending shower of red bolts. On her left side, Rex was shooting blindly in the direction of the shooting.

And then she felt it. A warning in the Force. She barely had time to react, channeling the Force into a ball of raw energy and pushing it forward, before a powerful blast knocked her off her feet. She felt her head violently slam against something hard as her body crashed roughly into the ground.

After the initial shock wore off, she started slowly coming around. Her montrals were ringing loudly and when she tried to open her eyes, her vision was so blurry it caused her head to pound violently and she reflexively almost threw up. She shut her eyes back immediately.

She was vaguely aware of someone touching her shoulder and talking to her but she could barely hear anything with the loud hissing noise in her montrals. She tried opening her eyes again only to see clones surrounding her, panicked looks on their faces and their lips moving frantically. She thought she could make out Kix kneeling on the ground at her side but couldn't be sure. The pain was getting too much again so she closed her eyes. She couldn't keep focus anymore and the idea of sleep was getting more inviting by the minute. As she started drifting away, succumbing to a deep slumber, her last thought went to Anakin and how much he would fuss over her when he saw her like this. A small smile tugged at her lips before the world went black.

* * *

Anakin and his troops were fighting the last of the droids when suddenly he felt a stab of pain through his bond with Ahsoka. His head was throbbing and he felt a sharp blow to his stomach.

Quickly though, panic took over the pain as he tried to connect with his Padawan through the Force. But she was fading away fast and he couldn't reach her. Trying not to crumble away with dread, he frantically reached for his com and dialed Rex's frequency.

"Rex, what's going on? Where's Ahsoka? I felt… What happened?"

"General, you should come immediately. The Commander… she's injured."

"On my way."

He didn't wait for a reply before jumping on the closest speeder and firing the engines. He flew as fast as the speeder allowed, following his Padawan's presence in the Force. Finally, he caught sight of Ahsoka's squadron. They were forming a circle around what he could only guess was Ahsoka herself. He rushed to her side, dreading the worst.

What he saw almost made his heart stop. She was lying on her back, unconscious, her body covered in shrapnel piercing her flesh like needles. Her head seemed to have hit the rock formation nearby because it had a huge sickly red gash on the side. But by far the worst, or what seemed like the worst was the long piece of metal stuck in her stomach, impaling her. She was bleeding profusely from the injury and it just didn't seem to stop, gallons of the red liquid leaking from her small frame.

When the clones saw him arrive, they stepped out of the way, knowing that his place was at his Padawan's side, that this is where he needed to be. Only Kix and Rex remained.

He knelt down next to her, taking her hand.

"Snips, wake up" he pleaded. "Ahsoka!" He was trying to keep it together, but seeing her battle dress soaked with blood and her small unconscious form was making it very difficult. Force she was so small! He seemed to forget it most of the time but it all came crashing down on him in moments like this.

"She's unconscious, Sir," Kix said calmly, although there seemed to be a slight trace of concern on his face, and if Kix was worried, well, it couldn't be good. "She's losing too much blood, but I can't remove that scrap of metal without proper equipment. So please listen to me."

Okay, okay, he could calm down. For her. He took a deep breath and look up at Kix, giving him part of his attention, while keeping the rest on Ahsoka, because it's not like he could just keep her out of his mind. Not right now. But she needed him. So he would do whatever was necessary to make sure she was safe.

"We need to take her to the medbay as fast as possible. General, I need you to help me and Rex carry her while making sure, the metal in her doesn't move any further," he said sternly.

"Let's do it," Rex answered immediately.

Anakin took one last look at his Padawan before nodding slightly. "Alright."

He grabbed Ahsoka under her arms while Rex carried her lower body and Kix made sure the piece of metal stayed in place. Her head lolled back against his chest and he was careful not to press against it too hard, because of her injury. Kriff, she probably had a concussion with how hard her head seemed to have slammed against that rock.

They took her to the ship as fast as possible while still being careful. A few minutes later, they got to the Jedi cruiser where Kix, with the help of the medical droid, was able to stabilize her. While on their way back to Coruscant, Anakin stayed with her the whole time, not leaving her side for even one second.

* * *

It had been three days and Ahsoka still hadn't woken up. Once they were back at the Temple, she had been treated by Vokara Che. She'd had to go through surgery as well as several dips in the bacta tank. Her stomach injury had healed nicely, although there would probably be an impressive scar. But her head injury had been more serious than the healers initially thought. And it was the reason she still hadn't woken up. Master Che had said she should make a full recovery, though, which had greatly relieved Anakin's anxieties.

He had been there, day and night, never leaving her side. He just couldn't leave her. Not after what happened. He hadn't even taken the time to freshen up and the only reason he'd been able to eat anything was because Obi-Wan had brought him food regularly, making sure he would eat it. He hadn't tried to get Anakin to leave the medbay and he had been silently grateful for it.

He was currently slumped in a chair he had brought to her bed, lightly dozing off to the regular sound of her beating heart. That sound. He didn't think he could ever stand to live without it. He just couldn't. Not after he had to hear his mother’s heartbeat stop against his chest. He didn't think he could go through this again with somebody he loved.

He was so lost in the darkness of his thoughts he didn't sense Obi-Wan come in, a cup of caf and a bag of Dex's food in his hands.

"How is she?" ha asked, settling the cup and bag on the counter next to Ahsoka's bed. Anakin nodded in thanks.

He looked back to Ahsoka's still form. Her skin was much paler than usual and she looked thinner - too thin - almost fragile.

"Still the same. Master Che says she should wake up soon though," he answered evenly.

"That's good."

A familiar silence settled between them. Then after a few minutes of Obi-Wan just standing there, looking at him with concern, his former Master broke the silence.

"It wasn't your fault, Anakin." His voice barely a whisper.

"Of course it was! I should have been there! What kind of Master am I?" Anakin snapped back immediately, meeting his eyes. Then softer. "Do you even know how she got caught in the explosion?"

Obi-Wan looked slightly taken aback but didn't flinch at Anakin's outburst. "No, I don't. I'm afraid no one provided the information."

"She knew," Anakin exhaled, his voice breaking. "She knew it was coming. And instead of running to safety, do you know what she did?" He didn't wait for Obi-Wan's answer. "She saved everyone by absorbing the blast with the Force! She didn't have to. Nobody would have blamed her. But no, she had to be all self-sacrificing!"

"Oh, Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed, a pained look on his face. "I feel for you, I really do. But where do you think she picked that up?"

For a few seconds, Anakin's mind was blank and then a wave of realization hit him. "Wait, you mean…" he stuttered, "she got it… from me?"

Obi-Wan's features softened into something like fondness. "She really looks up to you, you know."

If Obi-Wan thought this would make him feel better, then he didn't understand. _It wouldn't be the first time_ , he thought bitterly. No wait, that wasn't fair. It wasn't like he was doing it intentionally… right?

Instead of calming his thoughts, Obi-Wan's comment made them race faster. "So it is my fault then!" he exclaimed, horrified.

"Anakin, no, that's not what I meant. I am simply saying that I know exactly how you feel. You were my Padawan, remember?"

"Oh," he let out as he finally understood what Obi-Wan was trying to tell him. "How - how did you deal with it?"

Obi-Wan's features looked pained again. "I didn't." _Wait, was he saying -_ "The only thing I can do is be proud of who you are and let you go."

Today was definitely a day for surprises. "You're- you're proud of me?"

"Of course." Like it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. Well, it wasn't, not for Anakin. He had wanted to hear it for so long… Something warm filled his chest.

"I don't know if I can do the same," he then admitted. Because despite how proud he was of Ahsoka, how often his chest threatened to burst open every time she did something amazing, he wasn't sure that was enough. He didn't think he would be able to live with himself if she died because she had copied his own self-sacrificing tendencies.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to."

Yeah. Because everything was so simple for the perfect Jedi that Obi-Wan was. Well, Anakin _wasn't_ a good Jedi. That much he knew. He loved too much, too passionately. He could never be like Obi-Wan.

So he said nothing. Simply took Ahsoka's hand in his own and squeezed it, even though she probably couldn’t feel it. It was more for his sake anyway, desperately clinging to the biggest source of light in his life, like his own life depended on it.

It probably did.

Ahsoka woke up the following day and then had to spend a whole week in the medbay because her condition, while not critical anymore, was still fragile, and Master Che wanted to keep her under surveillance.

At the end of the week, Ahsoka was finally discharged with strict instructions to rest for another five days before she would be allowed to start training again.

The Council, in a surprising move, decided to grant leave to Anakin during the time of Ahsoka's recovery. In any other circumstances, he would have spent as much of that time as possible with Padme, making the best out of their busy schedules. But instead, he was happy to devote his leave days to his Padawan, doting on her at every possible moment, not wanting to let her out of his sight.

What was perhaps even more surprising was that she let him, barely complaining about his fussing. He wasn't sure why exactly, she tended to like her independence. But she stayed close to him the whole time, apparently enjoying him coddling her.

On the third night, they were lazing on the couch of their shared quarters, Ahsoka nuzzled into his side, watching a trashy holovid, when she broke the comfortable silence.

"Master?" She sounded tentative, which meant Anakin probably wouldn't be a fan of the topic she was about to broach. "Are you doing all of this because you think it was your fault?"

 _Kriff_ . He forgot how perceptive she could be sometimes. "Doing all of what?" he asked lightly - too lightly - trying to deviate the conversation.

"You know, taking care of me, spending all this time with me when I'm sure you have better places to be."

He sighed. "It doesn't mater if it was my fault or not Snips." It was but he knew she wouldn't see it that way. She was too good, his Padawan. "I would take care of you no matter what." Did she not realize how important she was to him?

He thought about how he had craved Obi-Wan's affection as a child - he still did -, how much he had needed that connection. Had he denied Ahsoka of what he had so badly longed for?

"I know you would, Master," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "But this seems… different. More intense. Not that I don't enjoy it, because I do. I mean, it's really nice," she finished hurriedly, her lekku darkening.

Anakin chuckled lightly. "It's okay Ahsoka. I enjoy it too. You don't need to be ashamed." He pressed a kiss between her montrals, making her lekku turn into an even darker shade. "I'm sorry if I didn't show you enough how much you mean to me before."

"It's okay Master. I mean, I knew you cared about me. It's just - I really like all this touching stuff." Instinctively, he pressed her even closer to his side.

Anakin smiled warmly at her. "We can do more of that." She sighed contentedly against him.

"I'd like that," she mumbled drowsily.

As she started dozing off, he didn't have the heart to tell her she should go to her bed. Instead, he summoned a blanket with the Force, draping it over themselves.

Hearing her loud and healthy heartbeat drumming against his chest and reveling in her light, he felt relatively at peace for the first time in a while.

Thinking back to his conversation with Obi-Wan, he knew he couldn't do what his Master had asked of him.

No, he could never let her go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


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